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Reading the book I realised the most important things had been left out of the DVD. Using the full techniques I could soon walk round the yard and sit on the sofa without being bitten and barked at. Whereas when I’d done what the DVD suggested – holding him by his collar until he stopped – it had turned into a vicious wresting match. It didn’t work at first because I learned only part of what works.
I’ve had similar experiences with therapy. Cognitive therapy works for most people. But I’ve had a therapist who made it fail by not treating a relapse. Some psychologists have done it by rote, showing no understanding of the underlying principles. One therapist was so cold he undermined the positive impact of cognitive therapy. If I hadn’t known it worked I would have given up.
And even cognitive therapy wasn’t enough on its own – I needed more to be happy. When I added bright light, proper diet, omega 3, vitamins and minerals, regular exercise, more close relationships, a focus on the good things in life, relationship skills, relapse prevention, work I enjoyed and stress management I got happiness.
What I learned from this is not to give up on therapy just because of one bad experience. The Osmonds sang ‘one bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch, girl’. My lyrics go ‘one (or even two, or three or more) bad therapy experiences don’t mean the whole bunch sucks – give it one more chance before you gii-iive up on therapy’. OK the scansion sucks, but the message is clear. Therapy can help. If it’s not helping it’s worth trying a new therapists and/or therapies and/or more types of therapy until you find the right one(s). That’s what worked for me.
Yes, yes, Yes! Therapy does work! I'd encourage people to keep going until they find the right one, too.
ReplyDeleteCameron always says that everyone can benefit from a little therapy, but I'm the only one he's talked to about it that actually went!
And yes, having a good diet, good people around you, etc is also important. Depression really is a holistic illness and needs to be treated as such - as opposed to the 'pop a pill and keep going' mentality.
It is hard to look inward at yourself but the rewards are so great that it's worth any pain along the way.
I so agree about the 'pop a pill and keep going'. Because GPs know so little about therapies other than drugs they don't recommend them. I think a lot of people end up thinking that if the pills didn't work nothing else will. Whereas there are more therapies out there than you can shake a stick at! There's bound to be something each person finds helpful.
ReplyDeleteIt really is a case of what works for each individual and what works with individual therapists. When you were right into a philosophy of trying anything and everything Kaye, I quite often thought you were nuts (that's a technical term). Of course, now I know that you just have to try things until some things help. As easy and as difficult as that.
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