Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The importance of supportive friends

Twice recently I’ve had things I’ve written in this blog quoted back at me. The first time was on my weekly ‘good things’ call with a close friend. I was telling her about how I ‘should’ mend my gate, how it would make my life so much easier if it worked properly but I just didn’t feel motivated. She said ‘why don’t you treat it as something nice that you do for your future self?’
‘Hmm,’ I thought. ‘That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?’
‘Like you wrote about in your blog last week,’ she added and it all became clear.

So I set to with hammer and saw and fixed half the gate. I didn’t enjoy it (although I did work a lot of my bad mood out on the nails) but I had a huge feeling of satisfaction at the end, and again every time I opened the gate without a problem.

Then another friend responded to my post about being on the verge of a relapse by suggesting I watch a funny movie to lift my mood, as I’d written about in an earlier post. Talk about right back at ya! I took the movie he suggested out, plus a few others, and had a movie fest all rainy Saturday. It was great! I really felt better afterwards.

This highlighted for me not only how useful the blog is turning out to be for reminding me to use my happiness habits, but how important it is to have supportive people in your life who make these kind of suggestions. I grew up with a lot of put downs and not much encouragement. So having friends like these who not only encourage me but suggest specific ways I can feel better is wonderful and really helps support my ongoing happiness.

4 comments:

  1. Good stuff, Kaye! When you are in depression or the fog created by any chronic illness, you sometimes can't see or remember all the things you know work for you to help you move forward. It's happened to me many times! The main thing for me is not to beat myself up when I do finally realise that I could have done something earlier.

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  2. Hello Kaye,
    This is a very uplifing post. Your blog is actually becoming quite interactive. If someone leaves a comment and learn that it's helped you feel better, imagine how good it makes them feel too ;-)

    On a saturday, as I felt sluggish and burnt out, I checked out your blog, thinking you hadn't launched it yet. Well, you had, and I read your first lyrical post with immense pleasure. This was enough to lift my spirits on that night!

    So, yes, the blog goes both ways: your blog can make your readers feel good too!

    Maybe the next step could be for readers to ask for advice (as long as it's not too heavy). You'd be very popular!

    Take care.

    F.

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  3. I also find your postings to be uplifting and helpful. Unfortunately, I am in the headspace where doing something helpful for myself is the last thing I want to do. At least I recognise this though and have a variety of small things I can try from reading your helpful hints. Thank you!

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  4. Thank you all three faithful readers for your feedback. I hope you realise that I reply to every comment. I'm happy to give advice - I will do a post saying that now. I agree it's important not to beat yourself up over forgetting a useful technique - I'm guilty! So glad you find what I write helpful.

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