Cognitive therapy made easy

If you look at a self-help book on cognitive therapy it can look a bit overwhelming and difficult. But it’s actually a lot easier than it looks. Also, some people find that writing down their upsetting thoughts makes them feel worse, so they avoid doing it. That’s probably because they believe these thoughts, and so focusing on them makes them feel bad. It’s a real shame because for me changing negative, destructive thoughts for ones that are more supportive and fair to myself can make a huge difference to my mood. I’ve found a couple of strategies that really help me do it quickly and easily without feeling worse.

1/ building up my positive mood before I consider my thoughts by watching a funny or uplifting movie or play or spending time with someone who makes me feel good: this puts me in a good space to look at my ‘stinking thinking’ and immunise myself against it a bit more. Not only that, but research has found that positive emotions help people think more clearly and creatively, which is good for spotting thinking errors and replacing them with new thoughts. ‘Why bother with the cognitive work?’ I hear you ask. ‘Why not just do the funny movie?’ It’s because I’ve found that my thoughts are HUUGE in making me feel bad so changing my thinking really helps me feel better and protects me against future depression.

2/ asking myself some key questions that cue me into looking at things differently: Look ma, no writing! It can be done in written form but I find it works just as well doing it in my head. My favourite questions are:

Am I focusing on the negatives and ignoring the positives?
Am I catastrophising? Is there a chance things might not be as bad as I think?
Am I criticising myself? What can I say to myself that is nurturing and supportive?
Am I blaming myself for things that aren’t my fault? What are ALL the reasons this bad thing happened, including what other people did?
Am I predicting negatives that might not happen? What are the positives that could happen (including things that have actually happened before)?

It could be worth putting this list somewhere you can easily see it, like behind your bedroom door, to remind you what to ask yourself next time you’re feeling down.