Making time for the good things in life

I just got back last week from a trip to my home town of Wellington, one of the loveliest little cities I've ever seen. It was great seeing friends and familiar, loved places. Being on holiday and hanging out with some of my favourite people meant there was no shortage of good things to record in my journal (although there was a slight problem with being too busy to get round to it for days on end! Or this blog!) The picture on the right is Oriental Bay, one of my favorite places on earth, where I had a lovely 'walk' in one of the mobility scooters the city provides free accompanied by my sister, on a day when it looked just like this. The gelatos we had from Caffe Eis made it even more of a pleasurable experience!

After all that fun coming home could have been a bummer. Luckily I had planned the holiday so I had some days to get over going on holiday! I had a pile of newspapers and magazines a friend passes on to me to read (one of my favourite lazy day activities), a garden to dig and seedlings to plant. The days passed in a pleasant haze with lots of good things to enjoy and write about. But over this sunny time loomed the dark cloud marked 'back to reality on Monday'. Work (which I actually love), finances and admin (not so much fun) and just the normal humdrum routine. To keep my sunny holiday mood it was important to plan good things - like a walk with a friend and her dog, phone calls to people I like, andspending time in the garden in the early morning or evening.

Even more important was making time to notice all the good things that happen each day. Once my routine took over, the good things decreased in number, crowded out by finances and admin. This is where my routine really works for me, because it is my habit to write down each day the good things from the day before. I've done it for decades, so it feels strange if I don't do it. If I'm running short of time or feeling bored, I make it just three good things. Anything can go in there - the fact that I got the washing in before it rained, making a nice meal, talking on the phone to a friend, getting an administrative task I'd been dreading done and finding it not so bad! Some people like to write the good things down once a week, but in my situation of coping with a chronic illness, low income, and all the paperwork that goes with being on a benefit, writing them down daily helps me notice that they do happen, and helps keep my mood sunny. Now I'm back to reality and still feeling good.

Planning to have fun

For K – who likes me to cut to the chase and be practical!

One of the things I’ve found most useful in building good feelings is planning ahead to have good times. I know this sounds a bit anal (as a friend once told me ‘think of the first four letters of the word analytical Kaye – that describes your personality’.) ‘Planning to have fun? Shouldn’t you just have fun, like…spontaneously? Dude?’

I’ve found it’s easier to have fun if I plan activities I'll probably enjoy. If I don’t plan one of two things can happen:

1. I take on too much and get exhausted and stressed, or
2. I plan too little and get bored, lonely and depressed.

Experience tells me the things I’m most likely to enjoy. Almost any social activity will probably boost my mood, although I’m not a huge sports fan. I have been known to appreciate a good game of netball or even the All Blacks when they pass the ball and don’t constantly drop it and jump on top of each other. But I’d rather go to a writing group or church, spend time with friends, take the dog for a walk or romp with a friend who has dogs (the dog romps – I sit sedately on the sofa), or go to a café.

On my own I like to do things like write, find pictures for my blog, talk on the phone, read, listen to music, go to the library, google stuff, cook or watch a funny DVD. I also like to go for drives through places of natural beauty – that almost always makes me feel good.

A good week for me will include social time and alone time, chores and things I like doing. I try to make Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays time to do admin work, finances, rest, stay at home and write. Wednesday is my ‘day off’ when I tend to end up going to appointments, library, vet etc.
Weekends really are time off. This Saturday I’ll spend at home, writing, resting, and cooking. I’ll visit the library and DVD shop if I’m up to it. Sunday I’ll head to Tauranga to visit my Mum, take Barney barndog to the beach and have coffee with my friend. It'll be fun - I can’t wait!