What is recovery?

‘Recovery’ means getting well, doesn’t it? Not necessarily.  Many people with personal experience of mental illness have reacted against this model of recovery.  They argue that it is too difficult to achieve, and have instead produced their own definition.  It goes something like:

                Recovery = living a full and meaningful life whether in the presence or absence of symptoms.

I like this definition, because it focuses on what I do with my life, rather than whether I’m having symptoms or not.  But despite this, I still aim to be symptom-free.  Not only that, I want to be positively happy, and that’s what I work towards.  Most of the time I am, despite some major life adversities such as being too physically to ill to work many hours, and it’s one of my greatest achievements.

But I still think it’s important to say that a person doesn’t need to be symptom-free to see themselves as recovered.  Depression and other mental illnesses can be crippling, robbing the sufferer of the will or ability to do the simplest daily tasks.  So being able to get up each day and carry out purposeful activities is a real achievement – believe me, I speak from experience!  I can still remember the dark days decades ago when simply getting dressed seemed beyond me.

Despite this, I do believe it’s realistic and worthwhile to aspire to be symptom-free, if that’s something you want.  Someone made the point to me the other day that some people don’t want to lose some of their symptoms, especially mania, which can be so useful for getting things done! 

I read somewhere recently that the people most likely to move into normative scores on depression questionnaires are those who most want to get over their depression.  I would think everyone would want to, as it’s such a noxious, unpleasant illness, but maybe that’s not true.  In the end it’s a personal choice.  I do think though that the twisted thinking that goes with the illness can mean it’s easy to get bogged down in thinking that happiness is not possible or you don’t deserve it, which can decrease the motivation to change.

Which brings me to the take home message of this blog.  It's that experiencing lasting happiness is a real possibility for people with experience of depression, even when it’s been severe, life-threatening and/or gone on for decades.  I've achieved it and I believe others can too.

What about you?  Do you want to be symptom-free or is it not an important goal for you?  Do you think it's possible?

5 simple ways to reduce painful feelings

Happiness happens when a person experiences three times as many positive emotions as negative emotions (or more). Building up positive emotions is reasonably simple. But how do you reduce the negative emotions like sadness, anger and anxiety that so easily undermine them?

Here are some simple tips, based on research and my experience:

1. Notice negative thoughts or feelings. Sounds simple, but it works. You can count them, put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you realize you’re having one or simply say to yourself ‘that was a negative thought’. Research shows that simply noticing you’re having a thought that ma
kes you feel bad is enough to decrease them
2. Accept negative feelings. Again, a very simple sounding technique but one that I’ve found amazingly effective. This involves not panicking, but just feeling the feelings. I say to myself ‘just feel it’. This stops me catastrophizing about feeling bad, which makes the bad feelings spiral out of control. It also stops me trying to deny that I’m feeling bad, which usually makes me feel worse.
3. Do something. As long as it’s not self-destructive, doing almost anything will lift your spirits and reduce negative emotions

4. Exercise. A brilliant, free way to reduce negative emotions. A walk, swim or workout can not only distract you but change you physically, so you feel less sadness, anxiety or anger.

5. Spend time with people. Make sure they’re people you actually like and get on with or you could feel worse! But this is a very effective way to

lift your spirits.

What makes you feel better when you’re feeling down or worried or irritable or any other kind of negative emotion?

How to create positive emotions

To be happy, you need to experience three times as many positive emotions as negative emotions (or more).  What amazes me is how simple it can be to create a positive emotion.  These include things like joy, awe, compassion, amusement, hope and love.  (Negative emotions are what you’d expect – anger, sadness, hate and anxiety, among others.)

I was reading an experiment by happiness researcher Barbara Fredrickson recently while working on my book on transforming depression into happiness.  She made people feel positive emotions simply by showing them short film clips of a puppy or waves.  I was surprised that this works, because these seem like such bland images.

Obviously, to get to the magic ratio, it makes sense to do as many things as possible to create positive emotions.  Here are a few of the things I’ve found that work:

• ·         Writing down the good things that happen each day or week – reliving them gives me a lift
• ·         Watching youtube clips or TV programmes that amuse or inspire me, like America’s Funniest Home Videos or Saturday Night Live.  As I write this I’m smiling over a heart-warming story on Luke Gamble’s Vet Adventures about a young street kid caught illegally selling puppies who was caught and given a job at an animal shelter which helped him get his life together
• ·        Getting out in nature and savouring the beauty
• ·         Playing ball with my dog (the non-lazy one who actually likes to chase balls!)
• ·         Meeting friends for a walk or coffee
• ·         Exercise
• ·         Doing something I get lost in, like writing, and
• ·         Cooking – not fun for everyone I know, but I love trying out new recipes, whether they work or not!

If you keep a note of the things that lift your emotions, you’ll quite soon have a good idea of what to build into your life to increase your good feelings.  The other part of getting the magic ratio is decreasing negative emotions – more on that in another post!

What lifts your spirits?  I’d love to hear.